Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause despair, and other harms. In addition you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, finances, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating wives.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I think typically though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest cluster, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is not here, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed distantly, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.